Welcome to The First Years of Marriage Newsletter! We talk about the conversations, challenges, and changes that begin once the honeymoon ends. Advice from experts, mistakes from me (Jen Glantz), and things you’re going to want to know as you continue to ask yourself this question - “I’m married, so now what?”
I might be spending Valentine’s Day solo this year.
It’s also ironically my first Valentine’s Day as a married human.
So why am I spending it alone?
My husband forgot (LOL.. sort of…) and made plans to babysit his parent’s pup that day in New Jersey. Which isn’t a big deal at all. I could go babysit the sweet pup with him but I might not. I might stay home. I might order the largest pizza I can find - or one shaped as a heart - and watch my favorite rom-coms. I might go for a long walk around NYC and watch couples who are fresh in love dazzle the streets with their wide smiles and bouquets of florals.
What is Valentine’s Day even about when you’re married? What is a married couple going to do?
Which made me realize this:
Just because you’re married, the days - especially the holidays - don’t have to feel ordinary or stale, boring or forgotten about.
Here are some quick idea for how to make Valentine’s Day feel as cheery as the holiday can feel for a couple who just meet a few months ago.
Most people enjoy surprises. Even if you don’t have a lot planned for the holiday, think of ONE way you can surprise your partner. Maybe it is with their favorite food, a small gift, or an adventure. Add this to your to-do list: brainstorm a surprise.
The best way to make a day in your life stand out is to think about how can you make it different than the day before. Valentine’s Day is on a Monday. So what are a few ways you can make that Monday better or different than any of the other Mondays in the month of February? Perhaps it’s with a lunchtime activity, hiring a virtual magician, doing a cocktail making class, or playing this game :)
Now that you are married, build traditions around the holiday. What’s something you want to try to do every year on Valentine’s Day? Maybe it’s handwritten love letters, a scrapbook, or a certain kind of adventure you always do on that day.
Perhaps you have expectations for the day but your partner has no idea. Get on the same page. You don’t have to be obvious about the exact gifts or surprises you want, but make sure there’s some sort of game plan in place so the day doesn’t pass and you feel like it was a waste.
Everyone is different - refer back to your partner’s love language and think of gifts that apply to their love language.
So, dear friend. What do you think? Ideas?
Love you (for as long as we both shall live),
This Week’s Love List:
Make Thank You Notes: One fun thing I’m doing with Adam is making customized thank you cards to use throughout the year. We made them after we got married and ran out! In 2022, it’s time for a new design.
The Pursuit of Love: I adored this TV show so much. It’s about two cousins (who are best friends and very different) and the lives they live as they twist around the world in search of true and deep love.
Ps. If you’re new here, HELLO! Welcome. It means a lot that you’re reading this. Here’s where you can scroll through a bunch of other newsletters on all different important topics - from post-nups to love language.
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