Welcome to The First Years of Marriage Newsletter! We talk about the conversations, challenges, and changes that begin once the honeymoon ends. Advice from experts, mistakes from me (Jen Glantz), and things you’re going to want to know as you continue to ask yourself this question - “I’m married, so now what?”
One more thing before we get into the good stuff:
After the wedding, most couples forget to do a lot of things.
Once your wedding ends, you fuss with the leftover details (like where to cram the stuff from your wedding that you don’t plan to eyeball for years and years) and pack the memories away for a little bit of time.
But the truth is, even though the big day is over, there’s still a ton to do.
These are the kinds of things you might not think about doing or might ignore, only to have to deal with them in 10-25 years.
Life’s short and busy and sweet. Why put things off?
Get to work on the list below or share it with someone who might want to know these details:
Your wedding meant a lot to the people who were there. It might have felt like the party started and ended quickly, it didn’t feel that way to the people beside you. It’s standard to send your guests a thank you note but there’s more you can do - over the next year or so - to make them feel special.
Idea #1: When you get pack your professional photos, send a few to some of your guests who stand out to you because they were supportive, helpful, or really did a lot to make it to your wedding. Sending guests professional photos of them from your wedding is a nice keepsake item and a special way of saying: I ADORE YOU.
Idea #2: In addition to the standard thank you note, find a few moments throughout the year to remind that person how much it meant that they were a part of your wedding celebration. It costs guests time and money to attend - and they don’t usually mind because they love you - but a double thank you is just a great way of extending to them the truth about how grateful you are that they came to your celebration.
Weddings make a mess of your finances. Even if you paid all your vendors, gave them tips, and sorted through your wedding gift cash, there’s still more to do when it comes to post-wedding money.
To-Do #1: Make sure it all adds up. Do you owe anyone else a final payment? Are you expecting a refund for any items from vendors? Did you account for any debt from the wedding and plan for how to pay it off fast?
To-Do #2: Where’s your wedding gift cash? Did you look at options of how to make money off that money (a High-yield savings account, a CD, risk-free investments, etc.). Don’t let it sit in a bank account with no interest. Get more money from that money.
To-Do #3: Before that wedding gift cash gets spent on random little things, sit down with your partner and plan out what the heck you want that money to go toward. A goal? A home? A new business to start together? Know that now.
You likely have a box, or 50, of stuff from your wedding. If you don’t do something with it soon, it’ll travel around with you for the next 50 years.
Tip #1: Sell what you don’t want. Whether it’s decor (card box, signs, etc.) or your dress, get the cash for it now before it becomes out of style or people have other options to buy. You might not get much money but the cash you get can help you pay off wedding debt or be added to your wedding gift fund.
Tip #2: Preserve the stuff you want to keep (Dress, decor, invitation, etc.). Find ways to make sure those items are packed right so mold, dust, or other elements don’t ruin them. Do that now so you don’t have to think about it for the next 50-years.
Pass it On
Chances are you learned A LOT from your wedding adventure and that knowledge can totally benefit someone who is engaged right now. Think about bottling up those lessons and sharing them in wedding forums, Facebook groups, or even reaching out to a friend or two and offering advice or your vendor list.
Being a wedding vendor is tough because there’s a lot of competition and it can be hard to stand out. If you adored your vendor, consider writing them a review or testimonial. Even if it’s been YEARS since your wedding, they will appreciate this, big-time, trust me.
Pick your photos NOW for your wedding album. Consider this a sign to do this. If you don’t want a full blown album, pick photos to print and hang. The longer you wait to do this, the more likely you will be to NEVER do this.
For some of you, this is brilliant news because you’ve been gloomy or bored post-wedding and now your to-do list just got a bit longer.
For others, you were happy that the wedding ended and eager to move on with your life so this list of things might never happen. That’s fine. Perhaps pick 1 of 5 and do that. I promise it’ll make your future life more breezy and make you + other people feel delightful.
I’ve been married for a few months and haven’t done any of these things. I’m starting with #1 and going down the list from there. It might take me till the end of 2021 or the end of 2025, but I promise to finish it before I finish binging all 86 episodes of the Sopranos.
Love you (for as long as we both shall live),
Jen Glantz is a whimsical entrepreneur, 3x author, podcast host, and all-around pizza-obsessed goofball.
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