New Year, New Marriage.
The goals, challenges, and changes to come.
Welcome to The First Years of Marriage Newsletter! We talk about the conversations, challenges, and changes that begin once the honeymoon ends. Advice from experts, mistakes from me (Jen Glantz), and things you’re going to want to know as you continue to ask yourself this question - “I’m married, so now what?”
In the 90-day challenge, you'll get every single thing you need to not only map out your 2022 goals but to start achieving them now, with a 90-day plan of action, accountability, and coaching + personalized feedback - from me.
New Year, New Marriage?
Greetings from 2022! I’m here, on the couch, with pieces of paper all around me.
I’ve been spending quality time lounging and thinking, planning and detoxing from all that 2021 was.
Adam and I did the marriage inventory and shared our answers before the ball dropped on New Year’s Eve. It turns out we both felt the same about the first year of our marriage - and the year 2021 -
It could have been much better.
If you haven’t done the marriage inventory - here’s where you can check it out. It’s powerful because it shows you one huge thing about your relationship:
From the common fights you have to the common things that bring you close together.
It showed us that we have A LOT TO WORK ON and rather than set resolutions for the new year, we’re putting things in motion now (more on that below).
So if you and your partner feel like you’re flirting with ????question marks??? about what to do this year to make your marriage stronger, more interesting, or just better than 2021, here are some practical suggestions for you.
Cheers to Adam for this one! He came up with the fun idea that every month we do a challenge together. If we finish the challenge, we get a reward. If we don’t finish, there’s a consequence.
Ex: January is our fitness month. We set the challenge to workout 5x a week. Anything can be a workout from yoga to a walk, a HITT workout to riding the bike for 10-minutes. The goal: to move 5x a week. This is major for us. If we do this, we get to treat ourselves to our favorite dinner spot in Brooklyn. If we don’t do this, we can’t have bagels in February and we love bagels so much - it’s motivating us to do this.
February will have another challenge theme…and so on.
Shared New Hobby:
If you and your partner want to feel closer and share something together, consider doing a joint hobby together this year. It can be a book you read, a TV show you watch together, a course you take on NFT’s, or you can both learn to Salsa dance.
Pick something that interests both of you and give it a go!
Pretty much every couple I talk to says that they wish they went on more dates. Most people would adore 2 fun dates a month - so for the month of January - do a date swap. Each of you plans a unique and interesting date and puts it on the calendar. That way, you both are accountable for making this happen.
The marriage inventory felt like a game changer for us and I don’t want to wait until December to do it again. I put a time on our calendar for the last Thursday of the month to do a relationship check-in and plan for the next month. It helps slow the year down and make sure we’re keeping up with how we’re both feeling about things.
Look at that! You have an entire calendar in your hands. Even though there’s so much unknown about the year ahead, pick 3-5 *things* - adventures, trips, or weekend activities and put them on the calendar throughout the year. This gives you something to look forward to and when you have something to look forward to, you just feel so much better about your own life + relationship.
This Week’s Love List:
A book to get the finance talks going: the advice inside was epic to talk to Adam about finance goals and strategies for 2022.
A card game to bring the spark back: grab The Newlywed Card Game this week and take $5/off with code LOVE. It ships the day you buy and arrives in 2-4 days.
A household item for 2022: I got this wood board because I want to start inviting people over for cocktail parties.
Sweet marriage quotes: Give them a read if your marriage needs a pick-me-up
You need a challenge: If you and your partner are having a tough time setting goals - or even figuring out fun date nights - kick-off the year with this 90-day challenge you can do together.
There you go, friends! That’s the newsletter for this week. Leave a comment and share what you think!
Ps. If you’re new here, HELLO! Welcome. It means a lot that you’re reading this. Here’s where you can scroll through a bunch of other newsletters on all different important topics - from post-nups to love language.
ALSO - if you know anyone who would adore this newsletter, can you please share it with them? THANK YOU!
Love you (for as long as we both shall live),