Welcome to The First Years of Marriage Newsletter! We talk about the conversations, challenges, and changes that begin once the honeymoon ends. Advice from experts, mistakes from me (Jen Glantz), and things you’re going to want to know as you continue to ask yourself this question - “I’m married, so now what?”
Two big things for you:
#1: I am creating a FIRST YEARS OF MARRIAGE card game. It’s a fun way to chat about the conversations, challenges, and next steps in your life with the person you said I DO to! Some of the cards in the game were even submitted by readers of this darling newsletter.
#2: I am giving away….A CRUISE! Yes, you read that correctly. Enter here and share! share! share! to up your chances of winning.
After 86 Years of Marriage….
………….Would You Still Be in LOVE?
I read an article this weekend about America’s longest living married couple celebrating their 86th year of marriage.
86 YEARS OF THIS WHOLE MARRIAGE THING?
Wow.
I’ve been married for 6-months and it’s been cool but imagine all that you and your person go through every 365-days? Imagine how many stories, arguments, almost break-ups, moments of frustration because their socks are…everywhere… after 31,390 days?
We hear advice about marriage from everyone, all the time.
But the only advice I really care about, today, is the advice of a couple who not only stuck together for 86-years, but seem really gnarly about each other.
So what do they have to say about this whole love and marriage thing?
Welcome to our lesson for the week.
Win awards with your partner
Hearing a longtime married couple tell you that compromise is to the secret to a lasting relationship is like hearing there’s yet another coupon available at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. It’s stale and available advice that does not mean a whole lot.
ALSO, there are times when SORRY ADAM, I don’t want to compromise.
I want to eat pizza for the 8th night in a row - even though he wants to try something different.
I want to spend the month living in Montana even though Adam can’t be gone from work for an entire month.
I want our family Halloween costume to be circus themed and he absolutely does not.
These are the things we will argue about this month until one person fully wins. There won’t be any compromise and eventually, we’ll move on from these debates with love and a little bit resentment.
I don’t understand the cliche: marriage is compromise.
But I do understand this:
Ralph, 104, and Dorothy Kohler, 103, celebrated 86 years of marital bliss Sept. 16, with the former saying the secret to a long marriage is “togetherness.”
Ahhhh, togetherness.
Now that makes more sense.
Ralph Kohler says the two would always compromise to give the other what they wanted, even though they preferred different activities. He enjoyed clay target shooting and his wife ballroom dancing, so they dedicated themselves to both hobbies.
This compromise led them to become fierce competitors across the United States, earning hundreds of awards in both trapshooting and dancing.
Marriage is not giving up or giving in. It’s learning how to co-exist, co-cheer each other one, co-mingle your crazy ideas.
It’s about saying:
Jen, you love pizza? Let’s try every since slice shop in Brooklyn over the next 5 years of our lives.
Adam, you love bagels? Let’s try every single bagel shop in Brooklyn over the next 5 years of our lives.
Marriage is some compromise, sometimes, but a constant togetherness.
I always tell Adam, in the heat of our fights, that we are a team and there’s no (i) in team!
Because marriage, is many things, but it’s mostly just one thing.
Being together and finding infinite ways to find pure joy in doing just that.
Thanks for Reading This!
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Will you share this? Please, please, please.
Someone in your life would adore reading this. Be the person who sends it to them first.
Suggested topics? Post below or hit reply and enter my inbox!Back next week with a new newsletter. Have a topic you want me to explore? Hit reply. Let’s chat about it !
Love you (for as long as we both shall live),
Jen Glantz is a whimsical entrepreneur, 3x author, podcast host, and all-around pizza-obsessed goofball.
Here's what she is currently working on:
You're Not Getting Any Younger Podcast
The First Years of Marriage Newsletter
The Monday Pick-Me-Up Newsletter
Jen & Juice Business & Life Coaching
Thanks for Reading This!
New here? Welcome.
Will you share this? Please, please, please.
Someone in your life would adore reading this. Be the person who sends it to them first.
Suggested topics? Post below or hit reply and enter my inbox!