Welcome to The First Years of Marriage Newsletter! We talk about the conversations, challenges, and changes that begin once the honeymoon ends. Advice from experts, mistakes from me (Jen Glantz), and things you’re going to want to know as you continue to ask yourself this question - “I’m married, so now what?”
7 Ways to Keep the Spark Alive
We chatted on Monday about this whole spark thing and what the heck it even means and how sometimes, it doesn’t mean that your marriage is in a bad place, it might just mean you are busy.
I promised you today that we’ll dive into ways to keep the goodness flowing in your relationship, even when you’re in stressful decision making mode, or life gets repetitive, or you’re just wrestling with a ton of different feelings and emotions.
Here’s your list below.
Ps. can you add to it? I’d love to hear from you!
Learn Stand Up Comedy
Life is better when you laugh or can laugh at the things that are just plain old annoying and frustrating. Laughter is like a super elixir and can be the cure, or driving force, toward you feeling better or more level-headed in difficult situations.
What if you and your partner took a stand up comedy course? What if you learned how to joke more? What if you had the tools to make fun of the things you should make fun of?
You don’t need to take a super serious one. You can even do a 1-day workshop (virtually like this one) as a date.
Spend a Day in Silence
Think about how much you and your partner talk. In the pandemic year, likely they were one of the only people you spoke to IRL. Constant conversation can sometimes make you need a break from that person.
So try this - a day in silence.
You both can speak - but not to each other.
It’ll reset things and maybe even make you eager to say GOOD MORNING to the person when the day is over and what a cool feeling that would be.
Get a Professional on Speed Dial
Read this out loud:
There is no shame in talking to a professional.
If you feel like there’s some deep rooted things in the relationship, get a therapist you can ring 1-2x a week for help.
Make it a To-Do List Item
What’s (1) tiny, small, easy nice thing you can do for your partner a day?
Add it to your to-do list. You’ll see a change in how you feel about the person and the relationship when you make even the littlest effort to show up for them by doing something nice.
Our thing today?
Adam cut up a watermelon for me (I don’t like cutting fruit).
I got Adam a cup of coffee mid-day when he was feeling tired but didn’t have the time to go grab it himself.
Have a No Repeats Rule
One way that old spark disappears is when life and your relationship feels repetitive.
Make a rule that for the entire month, you can’t repeat things:
-Places you eat
-Activities or adventures
-What you watch on TV
When we fall in love, we fall for that feeling of NEW! Make things feel new by doing different things again.
Care About ONE Thing
Show an interest for one thing they love, love, love.
When someone shows they care, it’s a powerful feeling.
I’m taking a screenwriting class and Adam will not only ask me about it but when w watch TV, he calls things out that we talked about. It shows me he listened and it makes me feel really happy.
Love Language Test
If you haven’t already, take this free test.
It’s a game changer when you learn how you + your partner love to receive love.
My love language is words of affirmation. There’s nothing more spot on than that for me!
Love you (for as long as we both shall live),
Thanks for Reading This!
New here? Welcome.
I’m Jen Glantz (virtual high-five!!)
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