Discover more from The First Years of Marriage
Is The First Year of Marriage the Hardest?
Welcome to The First Years of Marriage Newsletter! We talk about the conversations, challenges, and changes that begin once the honeymoon ends. Advice from experts, mistakes from me (Jen Glantz), and things you’re going to want to know as you continue to ask yourself this question - “I’m married, so now what?”
I’m about to celebrate one year of being married to Adam.
ONE YEAR of being a newlywed.
ONE YEAR of this whole marriage thing.
When people ask if marriage made anything different in our lives, I hesitate to come up with the right words to say.
The truth is, sort of yes and sort of no.
If anything, marriage is just your relationship growing even more on steroids.
Things feel more serious and every conversation feels like it has to end with a period and not a comma or one of those fun little exclamation marks.
Is the first year of marriage the hardest?
I can’t say because I haven’t lived out the 2nd, 3rd, or 70th year of marriage yet.
But I can tell you the TWO BIGGEST THINGS I learned about myself and my partner during year #1.
[Ps. I’m curios what you learned too - share below].
Everything Feels Permanent
One of the biggest things I noticed was that when I had an argument with Adam, it felt like what we were fighting about was the end of the world.
It wasn’t JUST that I wish he’d consider how I felt about a situation before doing something, it was that I wondered if he’d ever change and consider how I felt - and if not - would this be something we would fight about for 70+ years?
It was this sort of mindset shift that had me arguing with Adam more than ever - about little things - that I felt like became gigantic.
This was something I had to work on and start to see differently.
Yes, we will be together forever, but these arguments can find a solution and people can change.
I often have to repeat that when I get heated.
You Learn MORE THAN EVER about your partner
Think you know everything about the person you’re marring?
Spoiler alert: you don’t.
It’s funny because I thought I knew Adam so well but I’ve learned so much about him in the first year of marriage that perhaps I sort of knew but never really cared about.
I think anyone who got married during the pandemic saw new sides of their partner because so much around you changed.
Both Adam and I can say that after we got married, we learned a lot of things about the others personality, insecurities, and even communication style that we didn’t see or recognize before.
It’s been fun to take all that in and consider that as new accessories to our relationship.
Ps. What about you? What’s one thing you learned in the first year of marriage?
There you go, friends! That’s the newsletter for this week. Leave a comment and share what you think!
Love you (for as long as we both shall live),
This Week’s Love List:
Personalized Gifts: If you’re looking for a fun gift - share one that is personalized.
Being a mom and an entrepreneur: An awesome podcast interview on that very topic by my friend Molly Beck.
Read a book together: A fun activity to do with your partner at night - pick a book and read it together. Start your own mini book club!
A good weekend activity: Keep this near you if you need a fun hobby